The Shepherd Baby
by Izabella Black
Summary: alternate universe story Before Seattle Addison aborted Derek's baby. but what if she didn't. what if she gave birth and Derek didn't know? disregards the whole affair therefore this baby isn't Mark's first story please review updated ch 9
1. Telling Derek

Eventual Derek /Addison ship

Disclaimer I own nothing grey's anatomy is the work of Shondra Rhimes all characters are property of their respective owners

I only take them out to play

_What if Addison didn't abort Derek's baby but gave birth. Oh and Derek doesn't know that he's a father. I disregard the whole mark thing. Addison and Derek are famous but not world famous. This__ story takes place Before Seattle and before the cheating _

Addison is lying down in bed crying trying to cope with the situation she's in and what she's going to do. She'd been in bed for hours and still she was in shock. _I can't believe he said that,_ thought Addison. She had just told her husband that they were expecting and he told her that he didn't want it.

*flashback*

Addison couldn't believe it, after 6 months of trying she's finally pregnant. She had a little person growing inside her, a person she and Derek had created. She just couldn't wait to tell Derek. After her doctor's appointment she drove straight home, now she just needs to find a way to tell him with out revealing that his sister Nancy knew first.

She got home about two hours earlier than usually did; so she had time to get everything ready for when Derek got there. First, she began dinner then she took a shower and changed into something more comfortable. In a little less than two hours she had everything ready, dinner was cooked and the scene was set. Now all she had to do was, wait for her husband to arrive. Ten minutes passed then fifteen, then thirty after an hour and a half she was getting restless. When he finally arrived she was napping on the couch, and dinner was ruined from reheating it so many times. She got up when she heard him come in and put a smile on her face. She felt she was going to burst if she didn't tell him the news. "Derek sit down I have something to tell you." Derek sat down but with apprehension. He then turned to Addison and waited for her to speak. "I'm pregnant, were going to have a baby!" she expected exuberance, or tears or anything besides the silence she received. For a full five minutes they sat in silence, Derek too much in shock to say anything and Addison waiting for Derek's response to what she just said. "Addison, are you sure? I thought you were on birth control. We can't have a baby right now were just getting in to the big stuff." Derek said. "Of course I'm sure I'm pregnant I went to the doctor to confirm it, and we talked about stopping the birth control months ago, but I guess you weren't listening. And what do you mean we can't have a baby right now. We're already pregnant." Addison answered defensively

"Addison, get rid of it. We're not ready Addi," Derek said taking Addison's hands in his own, he continued "we've only just begun our surgical careers, a baby right now would not only be an inconvenience it wouldn't be fair to the baby. We're always working and we would have to cut back on hours and…." Addison didn't hear any thing after that the flood of emotions rushing from her head made her deaf to his words; she was the one in shock now. And after, her shock; came the anger at her husband's words (at least the ones she heard); to him work was more important than the child she was carrying. Before he could finish his sentence she threw her hands up and pushed him away. With tears streaming down her face she looked at Derek and asked him, "What the hell is wrong with you?! This is our baby" she said, while putting her arms around her abdomen protectively. After Addison's outburst Derek lost his calm. Yelling "what's wrong with me" motioning to his chest "nothing I'm not ready for a baby, and we may have talked about you stopping birth-control but I'm sure we never agreed for you to stop taking it." Lowering his voice and kneeling in front of Addison looking her in the face he started to make his pitch, but seeing her tears set him off "Damn it, Addison now is not the time." Once he saw that the expression on her face hadn't changed; he got up paced back and forth for a moment, then said in cold voice "I have a neurosurgery convention in Boston and another in Florida I'll be back in 2 weeks when I get back I want this situation fixed. I want this to be a bad dream, which should be forgotten." He didn't wait for a response, he kissed her on the head then went upstairs to pack his bags, and once he finished packing he left the house. Addison said nothing she just stumbled upstairs and into bed.


	2. Sisters to the rescue

Nancy had been knocking at the door and calling Addison's cell-phone for the past twenty minutes

Nancy had been knocking at the door and calling Addison's cell-phone for the past twenty minutes. She'd already checked with the hospital and Derek was at some conference but Addison had the day off. She had to get inside Addison was suppose to call her once she had told Derek about the baby but she hadn't called; Addison is meticulous about things like that. No one had heard from her since yesterday and she was starting to get worried. What if she had become sick or if she had a miscarriage. She used the key that Addison had given her to use in case of an emergency without guilt and let herself into Addison's and Derek's Brownstone. Once inside she knew something was wrong, the table was set for dinner and was still there, Addison would never leave her house like that, and she would have a fit if her house was left anything but perfect. Nancy didn't bother to clean up because she needed to find Addison; she went upstairs and called to Addison but didn't get a response.

When she came to the master bedroom she heard sobbing, opening the door she saw Addison. Hair tangled, eyes red, she was hardly recognizable. Nancy rushed into the room and got hold of Addison looked her in the eyes then asked "Addison, what's wrong, are you okay, did something happen?" Addison didn't answer but just sobbed harder. Not seeing anything physically wrong with Addison, Nancy helped her up, and half-carried, half-dragged her into the bathroom, once there she sat her on the toilet and started to fill the bath with warm water. After the bath was filled she helped Addison out of her clothes and into the water. After a few minutes of silence Nancy spoke again. "Addi, what happened? Did you tell Derek?" Addison nodded her head yes, then said in a whisper "He doesn't want our baby; he told me to get rid of it. Then he left." Once Addison had calmed down enough, Nancy helped her out of the tub and into a bathrobe. By the hand Addison was guided to the love-chair in the room. Nancy had held her tongue long enough; she finally asked the question that had been in her head since Addison first spoke "what did my moron of a brother do? I know it had to be something really bad for you to be hole up in your room like you've been, and from what I can tell you've been in here since last night. Spill" Addison gave Nancy a watery smile and then told her everything that had happen since they had last seen each other yesterday. By the look on Nancy's face she was just as upset as Addison had been last night. "That bastard" hissed Nancy when Addison finished telling her the events of the previous evening. Nancy slowly got up from her position in front of Addison, "stay here, I'll go make you some tea" _Not to mention clean up the things from last night it won't do her any good seeing those things,_ thought Nancy. Addison just nodded; she felt better having told someone about last night, she remained seated when Nancy left the room. She didn't have the energy to move, so she curled up in a ball and fell into an uneasy sleep.

Meanwhile, downstairs Nancy cleared the table of all of last night's remnants and put the tea to steep. While she waited for the tea, she called Kathleen, "Hey, Kat it's Nancy" "Hey Nancy, what's the problem?" "I need to talk to you face to face" "What's the matter?" "It's Addison she's going to need our help" "what did our stupid brother do now?" "Later" "okay I'll be there an hour and a half" "Kat! It's an emergency" "It's the earliest I can get out of here." What went unsaid was if Kathleen left work before talking with their mother the whole family would know that something is wrong, and that was the last thing Addison needed at the moment "Okay I'll take it." "Nancy, don't leave her alone to long." "Don't worry I won't, thanks Kat." "No problem, she's family"

After speaking with Kathleen on the phone, Nancy went back up stairs with the chamomile tea to check on Addison; and found her asleep on the love-seat. She set the tea down on the night stand and covered Addison with a light quilt, then quietly left the room. On her way downstairs she noticed the door to one of the extra rooms was closed, she knew the doors were only closed if the room was occupied, and to her knowledge nobody was staying with Addison and Derek. When she opened the door she gasped, she'd found the nursery. Addison must have been working on it for sometime; the walls were a gentle blend of pastels and what looked like the beginnings of a mural. the furniture was a light polished wood; a changing table, a rocking chair, a dresser, a new carpet, a bouncer, a swing, there were even designer baby bags Gucci, Prada, Valentino, and Tiffany's; Nancy had to smile seeing the bags, Addison being who she is had to have designer bags to go with her designer shoes. What caught her attention were the two cribs, one was of the same wood as the rest of the furniture with a white canopy top and was pushed up against one of the walls; but the other was an old fashion crib, it was a completely round made of iron coated in gold plating. The old fashion crib was placed in the center of the room and, from what she could tell; even though it was old it was well cared for. When she got closer to the crib that was in the center of the room she saw the sonogram that she had given to Addison yesterday was lying in the crib. She guessed that it was meant as a surprise for Derek, which she now knew was one he wouldn't have enjoyed or would have appreciated.

Addison awoke after a few minutes of restless slumber. She could tell that Nancy had been in the room, she had been covered by a quilt and a cup of tea had been left on the night stand. Wearily she rose and went to the bathroom, one glance at the mirror and she knew she looked like hell. She rinsed her face with cool water and pulled a brush through her hair; now she looked somewhat decent. She left the bathroom and went back into the bedroom, not finding anything useful to do she decided to clean up the mess she had left downstairs and see what Nancy was up to. A few steps out of her room she noticed the door to the nursery was opened, she knew she had closed the door, the nursery was part of the surprise she had planned to show Derek last night; she had been working on it for some time and it was almost done. She wobbled silently to the nursery door she didn't know what to expect maybe Derek had seen the nursery last night and destroyed everything; she might have missed an open door last night she'd been very upset. When she finally reached the doorway she was relieved to see that everything was still whole and in it's place, well almost everything Nancy was in the room staring at the crib in the center; she felt as if she'd been violated, nobody from the family had been in this room; she didn't want anybody there until it was absolutely perfect, and the situation with Derek being what it was nobody would be allowed in the nursery.


	3. Talking it Out

Nancy didn't know what made her turn around at that moment, but she did and there standing in doorway was Addison with a distraught look on her face

Nancy didn't know what made her turn around at that moment, but she did and there standing in doorway was Addison with a distraught look on her face. Addison entered the room completely and in a few steps stood beside the old fashion crib, she placed her hand on the crib then said, "Did, you know? This was my crib when I was a baby." She turned to look at Nancy, "When you told me I was pregnant I had it brought in from storage. Every child on the Montgomery side of my family was placed in this crib." Addison took a deep breath then continued. "My baby belongs in this crib but my husband doesn't want it. Not our baby, not me; he only thinks about work. What happened to my husband, where is the man I married? The one who promised to love me and give me the family I've always dreamed of. It felt as if it was a stranger talking to me last night; not the man I married." The door bell rung and interrupted Addison.

"Be right back" Nancy said to Addison before she rushed down stairs to open the door and admit Kathleen. "You're early I didn't expect you for an hour" she said looking at her wrist watch "I know, I had a cancellation and I called mom and told her that you and I are going out to an early lunch," catching the look on Nancy's face Kathleen added, "don't worry I didn't tell her anything, besides you said it was an emergency. Where is Addison?" Nancy started up the stairs and motioned for Kathleen to follow her. They arrived at the nursery to see that Addison was standing by the crib in the center of the room, but now she was staring inside it, with a blank look on her face. Kathleen hadn't been told about Addison's pregnancy yet, but she could tell that the reason she was here had something to do with the room she was now standing in. Kathleen called softly to Addison "Addi, Addi, Addison can you hear me?" Addison finally noticed Kathleen after she had called to Addison many times. Addison picked up the sonogram and handed it to Kathleen. Kathleen was confused at first as to what Addison was giving her but when she took it in her hand a smile graced her face. "You're pregnant. I'm going to be an aunt." "Not if Derek has anything to say about it." Addison responded coldly. Kathleen was stunned by both Addison's voice and by what she said. Kathleen regained her composure quickly and grabbed Addison gently and guided her to the love chair that was in the corner of the room; they sat together facing each other. Kathleen waited to see if Addison would talk without prompting but after several minutes in tense silence Kathleen decided to ask the question that was foremost in her mind. "Addison what exactly happened?" "My husband demanded that I abort our child." "Addison, Derek must have been under a lot of pressure, I know my brother; he wants kids. "Just not now" Addison cut in. "he wants to wait until his career has been well established, then and only then will we start a family, judging by the way he works now non-stop, how much more do you think he'll work when he's Derek Shepard world renowned neurosurgeon?" "Addison, I know he's working a lot now but once He adjusts to the idea that a baby is coming now he will tone it done, he'll be with you and the baby." By the look Addison was giving her; Kathleen knew she wasn't getting through to her. "You didn't hear him last night, you weren't here. He said get rid of it and before he left he said he wanted the situation fixed by the time he got back." "He needs time Addison, Derek can be an absolute idiot but he's not the kind of person that would have his child killed." "I love Derek, and I love my baby and I don't want to have to choose between them." "You don't have to choose." "Yes I do," looking at Kathleen and then Nancy with a determined demeanor continued "I'm going to have this baby and give Derek what he wants."


	4. Addison's Plan

an: i know there is a lot of confusion about derek being the baby's father. i'd like to point out that my story is sorta au and that according to an episode of private practice addison spoke about an abortion that was before the incident with mark. oh and does anybody know how i can get a beta?

and now chapter 4

Addison's plan

"Wait, what does that mean? You're not making sense. At the moment Derek wants you to abort, and you want to have this baby, you can't give him what he wants and still have the baby." "I've had some time to think this through, I'll give birth but Derek won't know." "Addison, I think you need some help." "Did you know that your sister miscarried recently?" Nancy was stunned nobody knew that Lily was pregnant besides her, and the miscarriage happened earlier that week. Kathleen who didn't know about either was curious, "what are you talking about, Addison?" she asked.

"Ask Nancy." Addison responded. "She knows what I'm talking about." Kathleen looked at Nancy and realized that Nancy did know what was going on, she hadn't asked any questions and she wasn't talking, which was a first for Nancy. "Nancy" Kathleen said, Nancy looked away at and when she glanced back, she met with Kathleen's glare and Nancy caved. "I don't know how Addison even knew that Lily was pregnant or that she miscarried I didn't tell anybody." Nancy finally said and looked at both of the other women in the room.

"Oh please, I'm doctor who specializes in gynecology and neonatology. Who do you think told Lily to see you Nancy?" Addison said. She continued her pitch. "Lily and James are in love and they are engaged. I'm sure Lily already wrote to James telling him about her pregnancy. And I'm also sure she hasn't written him about the miscarriage. Lily wants a baby and James thinks his fiancé is pregnant. I want Lily and James to raise my baby. It's perfect, Derek doesn't want a baby and I won't kill my baby, so we make it seem that I miscarried. I know you have the paperwork from Lily's miscarriage and you haven't put it the books yet, we substitute my name for hers and adjust the date on the paperwork and I continue my pregnancy under her name. Everybody gets what they want; Lily gets a baby and doesn't have to tell James about the miscarriage, my baby gets to live and Derek doesn't have to raise a child he doesn't want." when neither Nancy or Kathleen responded Addison continued in a steady voice "I can miscarry from the stress Derek put on me and because of the miscarriage he'll be delegated to a guest room for the next 8 weeks; I'll tell him I need time to heal. After that I'll change my hours and make sure that I'm at work when he's home and vice-versa so we won't sleep together and I'll encourage him to go to any and all conferences while I do the same." turning from Nancy and focusing mainly on Kathleen she spoke to her alone "Kathleen doesn't a person that loses something important, sometime focus all the effort on another thing." Kathleen nodded her head and Nancy just sat there flabbergasted at Addison's plan.

Kathleen was thinking that Addison must have had a nervous break from the events of the previous night; she must have been thinking about this all night, most people who suffer nervous breaks wouldn't have been able to plan something that Addison had, they would have committed suicide or disappear or something equally drastic; not to say what Addison proposed isn't drastic, but it was in a way logical. Addison started up again, "After the miscarriage I'll throw myself into my work. I'll go all over the country to give lectures and I won't use my credit cards on things for the baby but pay in cash; I'll even make a budget and you know how I am about budgets. Nancy call Lily, if she agrees why can't we do this? She'll have a baby to present to James and my baby gets to live and be loved." When she said it like that it made perfect sense to Kathleen and Nancy.

an: so what do you think? did you catch the names Lily and James i'm such a total dork. well i love harry potter; sorry it's such a short chapter but i lost most of my work. thanks for reading


	5. Lily's arrival

an: Sorry i haven't updated in forever but i lost my groove and having to start over sometimes changes the story. i know it's short but i wanted to put something up

* * *

Chapter 5 Lily's arrival

"Addison, Lily is still quite sensitive right now, and even if she agreed it's illegal to falsify medical documents." Nancy said.

"Nancy, you're not thinking about doing this are you?"

Kathleen said alarmed. She stood up and began pacing back and forth,

"I think you have both lost your minds, Addison I understand, but you Nancy what in world are you thinking?"

Nancy thought for a moment then spoke with conviction

"You want to know what I'm thinking. I'm thinking Addison has a point. Why destroy James's happiness, and we both know that Derek won't change his mind. Lily is hurting Kat, she had dreams for a baby."

"And what about Addison" Kathleen broke into Nancy's triad. "Addison has dreams for this baby, just look around; this room is a testament to how much Addison wants a baby."

"I want my baby to live" Addison said quietly.

"Can you give this baby up?" Kathleen said just as quietly.

"If it means my baby has a chance to live, I'll do anything." Addison said with her hands protectively over her womb. "I'd rather die than have an abortion; I know Lily will love this baby and you both know that Derek is as stubborn as a mule. Ask Lily, if she's up to it we'll make both of our partners happy.

Nancy took out her cell phone, and then hesitated for a moment she looked imploringly at Kathleen. "Kat?"

"Go ahead Nancy. I know our sister won't agree to it anyway"

After waiting a few moments Nancy's phone connected to Lily's. "Lil its Nancy, where are you?"

"I'm out shopping."

Aren't you supposed to be resting? Anyway I need you to come over to Addison's house. Can you get here in 15 minutes?"

"Maybe I'll go later"

"No now. Don't make me call mom."

"Fine, I'll be there fifteen minutes."

"If your not here in fourteen minutes, I'll call her."

"You just said I had 15 minutes"

"But you decided to fight me. Now you have thirteen minutes; get moving." Nancy turned to the women then took a deep breath. "She'll be here soon."

"I think we should go downstairs, I don't think Lily could handle coming in this room."

Once it was agreed that they shouldn't meet Lily in the nursery the women went to the kitchen. Addison was given another tea and Nancy and Kathleen both had coffee with some Bailey's to fortify them.

Lily arrived in less than ten minutes; in a blue cardigan and tan slacks. She really didn't want Nancy to call their mother. Lily is a medium woman about 5'4 with long brownish red hair and light bluish green eyes depending on her mood; and right now they were a bright green. Lily impatiently knocked twice and the door was immediately answered, she was surprised to see Kathleen there. She glared at Nancy, and then said

"I can't believe you told Kat, I told you I'm fine."

"Lil calm down we're not here for you, we're here because Addison needs our help."

Lily's eyes changed from green to blue then she directed her words at Kathleen, "then you don't know."

"I can't believe you don't trust me. I thought we told each other everything" responded Kathleen.

Lily turns back to Nancy and lashes out. Eyes flashing from blue back to green in an instant  
"I thought you said you didn't tell her. I trusted you as a sister and as my doctor. You were the only one besides James who knew. I didn't even tell mom."

"I told Kathleen," Addison said quietly, receiving a surprised look from Lily prompted Addison to continue "Lily don't you remember that I was the one who sent you to Nancy. Don't blame her."

"Then why is Kathleen here?" Lily replied.

"I'm here because our brother is an ass, and because I was asked to come." Then taking a softer tone "Lily have you informed James about your miscarriage?"

Lily looking defeated shook her head no. "I don't think I can tell him, I just got a letter from him, it said that he can't wait to be a dad and to take care. I should have waited to tell him, now I have to tell him our baby died,"

Each word had become harder than the last; she was sobbing when she said the last part

" that my body decided my baby was a mistake and got rid of it. If I had only waited 2 weeks, then I wouldn't have to tell my fiancé that I lost the baby, because he wouldn't have known I was pregnant in the first place."

Kathleen, Nancy, and Addison were gathered around her, and when she finished speaking they gave her a group hug.

"You know its okay to morn your baby, you can cry and nobody will judge you."

Kathleen said. They stayed together in the hug until Lily had cried herself out.


	6. Madness

Chapter 6

Madness

Once she finished crying Addison spoke.

"What if you don't have to tell him?"

"What are you talking about? Of course I have to tell him, he'll know in 8 months when there's no baby." Lily said.

"There'll be a baby." Addison said.

"Lil, Addison has a proposition for you." Nancy added.

"Just hear us out. Okay Lil." Addison added.

Lily nodded her head yes.

"What I'm proposing, is that you take my baby."

Lily was stunned into silence all the questions she had were frozen inside her. Addison seeing that Lily was silent continued her pitch.

"My plan will make you and James parents, he wants a baby Derek doesn't and I want my baby to live and be loved: I know you will love this child and give it a home."

Taking a deep breath she continued

"The thing is I want you to be the mother of this child, not just the adoptive mother but the person on the birth certificate the one who _gave birth_ to the child."

"That's not possible my miscarriage is already on record." Lily said.

"Not yet it isn't." Nancy added.

Addison ignored the interruption and continued

"Nancy, is your doctor and mine as well; we can change the name and date on the paperwork to show that I miscarried instead of you. I'll continue to get prenatal care with Nancy but under your name."

"Do you think Derek won't know that you're pregnant?"

"If I miscarry because of the strain and stress he put on me, I'll have a reason to not want him in my room and in my bed, not to mention the eight week no relations. After the "_miscarriage"_ I'll throw myself into my work and push Derek all the harder in his work, make him go to every neurological convention and give lectures, I'll call in some favors and I'll change my work schedule so that Derek and I will hardly see each other, at home or in the hospital. Near the end when I begin to show I'll take a sabbatical"

Lily still looked dubious about the plan and decided to pose some questions.

"What about the hospital staff, don't you think they'll notice that you're pregnant. Not to mention that everyone at Nancy's practice knows you, and a baby usually resembles its parents; you're tall with red hair, I'm short with brown hair, can you do the math; and I don't even know when James will come home?"

Addison had a small sad smile on her face, if Lily was asking these questions then she was considering the plan, she had an answer to each question none the less, for the plan to work there could be no mistakes.

"Lily I thought about all of this already, once news of a miscarriage spreads nobody will look at me to closely but even if they did, I could suddenly suffer a 'psychological pregnancy', all the signs of being pregnant but no baby. As for the nurses and every one at Nancy's practice they know I'm a colleague and friend."

"They don't know that your Derek's wife?" Lily said shocked.

"They know that I'm Dr. Shepard and they don't necessarily need to know that I'm Addison Shepard, not Lily Shepard. It'll be purely speculation; they don't know that I'm not Nancy's sister. Face it I go there all the time because our fields overlap but no else besides mom goes to Nancy's practice and when I ask for her I tell them to tell her that her sister is here, she doesn't ask which one because she knows I'm the only one who admits to being her sister. The documentation at the practice could be filled out with Lily's basic information well just change the blood type so that when it's sent to hospital requesting information it will coincide with the information we give them and I would bring my own file so Nancy could make the notes to both files about the progression of the pregnancy, if there were ever an emergency I would have my paperwork with Lily's name, address, and social. We just have to make sure it's not a hospital that she's been to and with Nancy there as my doctor they won't need to send for a history because she has a copy and not to mention Doctor patient confidentiality will keep them from asking in depth questions that we don't want to answer. I don't know what the baby will look like but it should have similar characteristics to that of the other Shepard children, and your hair isn't just brown you have some auburn in there. And, if we talk genetics every family has somebody with red hair or even blue eyes and this child being your brother's child will have some of his characteristics as well, maybe wavy hair, dimples; this baby might not even look like me at all. As for height and body type it will have an effect on the size of the baby but James is taller than you are if the child grows tall it can be attributed to him. I know that James has to be overseas for at least 1 year if not longer; we would have it all arranged; a hospital that is great with obstetrics but is out of our normal circle. Like Saint Andrew's"

'They're going to ask questions."

"Questions we can answer; I'll be with my 'sister' doing some shopping but when I go into preterm labor we go to Saint Andrew's because we are in the area and my 'sister' who is also my doctor doesn't feel comfortable taking my across the city when there is a perfectly good hospital right there. I will call the family only after I'm in active labor and inform them of the imminent birth of the baby and that because of the early labor and circumstances that induced labor we are not at the regular hospital but at Saint Andrew's and unfortunately cannot be transported at the moment. When asked why we hadn't called sooner will tell them we hadn't called because we thought that the labor could be stopped and when it couldn't be we got so distracted by the labor that it slipped our minds; until we realized that the baby was going to be born and none of the family was with us to experience the birth. My plan is to give birth before the rest of our family arrives, Nancy will have me released from the hospital because a natural birth doesn't require a long hospital stay and then she'll push to have the baby released as soon as possible."

Addison turned to lily "Lily, you will go to the nursery and be with the baby, the nurses and everybody else will see you with baby and assume you're the mother"

"What about the nurse that helps you deliver?"

"A temp nurse will be called in; someone from out of town paid enough to assist the birth and someone who will cater to my every need so none of the hospital nurses are put out with an extra pregnant woman from across town. Will say she's from Nancy's practice someone I'm comfortable with; who leaves after the baby's born." Lily finally convinced

"Okay count me in"

Kathleen couldn't believe her ears, her sisters were going to go through with it; falsify documents, lie, and breach ethical and moral standards and as of this moment she was one against three. She had to be the logical one and UN-convince her sisters of the plan.

"Are all of you crazy? Addison I know how important this baby is to you; you want to be a mother. Lily you lost your baby, doing this won't bring you your baby back and it also won't give you time to morn your baby and it isn't right for you to lie to James. Nancy you're a doctor are you really willing to risk your practice. What about the moral dilemma to all of this, Derek has a God given right to his child and you're denying him that right,"

Kathleen walked over to Addison and put her hands on her belly

"this could be the Shepard heir, for all we know."

Kathleen then went to Lily and then grabbed her hands and looked her in the eyes.

"Lily, James deserves not only the truth about the baby but about your miscarriage and the pain it caused. You have undergone a trauma to your body and mind" She let go of Lily and looked at Addison and Nancy; then spoke to all of them "Do you really want to lie to our family? Lie to Mom? Addison what about your parents don't they deserve to know that they are going to become grandparents, that your brother is going to become an uncle, should they be deprived of that right anymore than you should be denied the right to be this baby's mother, I know Derek is stubborn but when he holds his child do you think he would reject it."

Although a compelling argument it fell on deaf ears. As if given a cue Addison, Lily, and Nancy said

**"he already has"** in unison.

Kathleen sighed dejectedly, she wasn't going to win this argument at the moment, and Addison had thought of everything, her sisters who included Addison were going to go through with this plan. While she could explain Addison and Lily as having been traumatized by events she had no such excuse for Nancy, either way she knew they were going to do it, she'd rather be in the know and help out where she could than be out of the loop and worrying about the situation.

"Fine I'm in, where do we start?"

Kathleen said grudgingly, and defeated.

And so began the plan to make the child of Derek and Addison Shepard into the offspring of Lily Shepard and James Peverell.


	7. Plan in Action

Chap7

Three days had passed since the plan was made and the four women were busy arranging things necessary to implement the plan.

Lily and Kathleen were at work as to appear normal.

Addison acted natural letting all the pregnancy symptoms be known to all the hospital, the rumor mill was going crazy as she neither confirmed nor denied the fact that she was pregnant.

Nancy on the other hand had her work cut out for her, she had to change the name and date on the paperwork she had filled out for Lily; and she also had to arrange when the miscarriage would take place. It may have been Addison's plan but for now Nancy was the one doing most of the work.

~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A week after the plan was proposed everything was ready. By now Addison's pregnancy was common knowledge to everyone at the hospital so they were use to her mood swings and her constant trips to the restroom and her weird food cravings.

A week gone and a week left until Derek returned from his convention. It was time to put the first phase of the plan in action. Addison went to work like normal but, did everything lethargically, went to the bathroom more often then normal, and then complained of cramps. After a few hours of work she asked for the rest of the day off

"Chief, I don't have any more surgeries for today and my post-op patients are all well on there way to recovering; I haven't been feeling well and hope you won't mind if I went home"

"Do you want to get checked out?"

"No I just want to rest in my own bed if I feel any worse I'll call my regular doctor."

The chief reluctantly agreed to let her go and she left to go home.

As planned Nancy went to the hospital looking for Addison to go shopping, she walked up to the nurse's station on the surgical floor and spoke to the nurse

"Can you page Dr. Addison Shepherd and tell her that Dr. Nancy Shepherd is waiting?"

"I'm sorry Dr. Shepherd she's not here; she hadn't felt well and went home." "Do you know exactly when she left?" Nancy asked.

"I'm sorry Dr. Shepherd; I was only informed that she left after her surgeries. I can call one of her nurses and ask when she was last seen."

"No, thank you I'll call her cell."

Nancy left the station and asked some people if they had seen Addison and if she seemed okay; after getting the same response,

"that today she seemed different",

"that she was slower than usual" and

"that she went to the bathroom more than usual"

from several people. She placed a few calls to Addison's cell phone and then left the hospital and headed to the Shepherd Brownstone. This part of the plan was to make Addison's co-workers worried about her and her abnormal behavior so when the news about the miscarriage was heard no one would doubt the veracity of the statement.

Once Nancy arrived at the house she checked on Lily and Addison and then called Kathleen to let her know that the first phase of the plan was already complete. Lily and Addison were in the living room eating some tuxedo cheesecake and drinking chocolate-banana milkshakes (_well Addison was drinking the milkshake; lily was pretending to drink it she didn't want to hurt Addison's feelings._)

"I see your cravings haven't abated" Nancy commented to Addison.

"So what happened?" Lily asked exasperated after several minutes of silence.

"they bought it, I asked around about Addison, and let everybody know I was concerned that she had left without calling me first, then I stood in front of some interns and called Addi's cell phone a few times and left a few messages you know:

'Addi pick up',

'call me back I'm worried' and

'when you get this message please check in';

I had everyone apprehensive about Addison's decision to go home early."

"That's great; now what type of milkshake do you want?" Addison asked from the kitchen, she had finished her milkshake while Nancy was filling Lily in on the details and went to kitchen to make another one.

A knock was heard from the front door and they all froze.

"Hello, can someone let me in I forgot my key" Kathleen called out

And they took a collected sigh of relief. Lily opened the door for Kathleen and then took her full cup of banana chocolate milkshake to the kitchen and poured it down the food disposer. Kathleen was looking at Lily weirdly, Lily mouthed 'chocolate banana', and Kathleen gave her an understanding smile.

Tonight would begin phase two of the plan; 'the miscarriage'. Everybody at the hospital already knew, well made the correct assumption, that Addison was pregnant and that she hadn't felt well today; so it shouldn't come as a shock that she had miscarried at home.

Addison called Nancy's practice, explained that she'd been spotting and was advised by a nurse to rest and if the spotting got worse to go the emergency room.

The nurse then called Nancy's cell and informed her of Addison's call. When the time came to explain what had happened it would be easy;

_Addison's cell phone had gotten wet on her many trips to the bathroom and she couldn't call Nancy until she reached the house; but she didn't call because she was too tired and only wanted to rest, she slept through ringing of the phone and only awoke because of the pain in her abdomen after which she called Nancy's practice and then Nancy on her cell; Nancy arrived quickly because she was already in the vicinity. But by the time she arrived nothing could be done Addison had already lost a lot of blood the cramps were increasing in intensity. Being her doctor and her friend she didn't take her to hospital but stayed the night with her. The next morning Addison and Nancy went to the office for a full examination and confirmed the miscarriage._

Addison called in sick at the hospital and told them that she wouldn't be in for a five days unless it was an emergency. Addison stayed out of sight for the next few days. Kathleen and Nancy had stated a family emergency at work and all their appointments for the week were either rescheduled for another time or arranged to be handled by another doctor. Lily had her friends take notes and arranged to pick them up at the end of the week.

~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Kathleen, Nancy, and Lily stayed with Addison in the Hamptons, for three days. On her fourth sick day they returned to the brownstone only to find their mothers outside waiting for them.

He he he cliff hanger


	8. Mothers

_An: I read it again and decided to edit some things its basically the same next chapter will be little more info on Lily and how she got where she is._

Because they hadn't been able to contact their daughters directly Carolyn Shepherd, dressed in casual black slacks and a sweater and Mary-Elizabeth Montgomery dressed to the 'nines' in a sea foam colored pleated skirt with matching jacket and cream silk shirt with matching cream pumps (Addison had to learn from somebody); had come in search for their errant daughters.

"Where have you been? I called the office and was told that you were out because of a family emergency and that you weren't expected back until next week." Carolyn said to her daughters once they got out of the taxi.

Meanwhile Mary-Elizabeth was questioning Addison.

"Addison you missed our weekly lunch date and when I called the hospital they told me you were out sick, what's wrong; you never take sick days"

"Lets go inside we'll explain everything then." Kathleen said.

Nancy opened the door and allowed the mothers in and then followed with her sisters. They had known from the beginning that their mothers would come but they hadn't expected it so soon. Addison couldn't lie to 'mom's' face without getting caught and she was already smacking herself for not canceling her weekly lunch meeting with her mother; while she got along with her mother, she was not especially close to her, she could lie to her mother she had experience with her but lying to her mother-in-law was never easy. _Nancy, Kathleen and Lily were very good at lying, especially if it concerned one of their siblings. A group of children learn to lie a lot faster and better than one girl._ Once inside the group sat in the informal living room

"All of you better have a good explanation. We want to know what family emergency occurred, why we were not informed and why all four of you have been missing for the past three days." Carolyn said heatedly.

Lily responded "We weren't missing; and the emergency well…" she hedged a little trying to find the right words to use.

"it was more of an emotional problem. We didn't call you because…" Lily didn't finish the sentence but Addison did.

"I didn't want anybody to know, Nancy knew because she's my doctor, I informed both Kathleen and Lily once they were here. The emergency happened earlier this week and we didn't inform anybody."

Addison tried but couldn't look her mother or mother-in-law in the face. In the end she turned to Kathleen and admitted defeat.

"Kathleen I can't do it."

"Can… Can one of you do it for me please?"

Addison didn't wait for a response with tears streaming down her face she got free of her mother and escaped upstairs. Nancy being Addison's closest friend, and the doctor who told her she was pregnant was now the one to tell the grandmothers that they weren't going to be grandmothers at this point in time.

"Last week Addison came to me because she had just missed another period and wanted to be sure before telling Derek anything. I ran a blood test and confirmed that she was pregnant."

Mary-Elizabeth's eyes grew wide with shock. She and Carolyn shared a smile at the news that a grandchild was on the way and were about to go and start planning the announcement of the future Montgomery-Shepherd baby and make the arrangement for the baby shower and all things related to the new baby. All thoughts about the family emergency were momentarily pushed from their minds when Nancy continued her explanation.

"A few days ago Addison wasn't feeling well, by the time I got here it was too late, she had lost a lot of blood, I stayed with her through the night and the next morning we went to the office. She'd miscarried and there was nothing we could have done. Addison called in sick and Kathleen and Lily came to help out.

We don't want to leave her alone. Derek is due back in a few days but between then and now a lot can happen. Lily is living alone until James comes back; we decided its best that she moves in here; so that neither of them is alone." Mary-Elizabeth spoke once again "my daughter miscarried." She looked at the women in the room to confirm the statement. "I need to be with her." She got up and went to check on Addison.

Addison had gone to her room to change; she put on some sweat pants and one of Derek's old college shirts. She had just finished changing when her mother entered the room.

"Sweetheart do you need anything? A hug, a bowl of ice cream, someone to talk to." Mary Elizabeth said, as she guided Addison to the loveseat.

"I don't need anything at the moment. I already talked to Kathleen, momma and Lily is going to be staying with me."

"Woman miscarry everyday Addison it just happens sometimes." said Mary Elizabeth hoping to console her daughter not knowing that she was just doing the opposite, pushing Addison at a time when she was fragile and unsure.

"It just happens sometimes' that's what you tell me!" Addison said as she pulled away from her mother and began pacing back and forth. "I don't want to hear this I feel bad enough as it is but you come and tell me that it just happens. I want to be alone can you just leave! Nothing you can say can change what happened. Nothing!" Addison finished tears streaming down her face. Mary-Elizabeth moved to embrace her daughter but restrained herself when Addison flinched from her touch. "I will leave you alone for now but I'll be back later." Then she retreated silently from the room; leaving Addison to her tears; and stumbled onto the nursery whose door wasn't closed completely. And that's where Lily found her when she went to check on Addison.

Meanwhile Downstairs.

To say that Carolyn Shepherd was upset was an understatement. She experienced joy and sorrow in such a short amount of time. The thought of another grandchild and that Derek would soon become a father was enough to have her sing; and then to realize that her joy was short lived that the long awaited Shepherd heir had been lost earlier that week. She had been worried that four of her children (for Addison became her daughter the instant she accepted Derek's proposal) were missing and out of contact. Now knowing what they've been dealing with has left her saddened that they didn't confide in her and she let her feelings known. Looking at three other occupants in the room, for Mary-Elizabeth had just gone upstairs after Addison, she spoke.

"I understand doctor patient confidentiality but I would have appreciated a call, a note, or something, letting me know you would be out of reach so I wouldn't fear the worst. I thought I taught you that you could always talk to me. I'm saddened to think that my daughters don't trust me." Nancy always having been the outspoken one responded.

"We do trust you mom but it wasn't our news to share." Seeing a frown on her mother's face decide to go for broke.

"Addison wanted to tell Derek before anyone else. I'm sure she would have told the rest of the family in the coming weeks.

Now I'm glad she didn't." she said more to herself than anyone else.

"Why?" Carolyn asked. It was Kathleen that answered though. "If Addison had told everyone about the baby then she would also have to tell them that she lost the baby. I don't think that she can handle that emotionally, at least not at this moment." She finished glancing over at Lily.

Nervous of the direction in which the conversation was heading Lily decided to dodge her sister's stare. "I think I'll check on them." She said motioning upstairs.

"Why don't you take them some tea, I'm sure they'll appreciate It"

Carolyn suggested after seeing the interaction between Kathleen and Lily. Once Lily left to make tea Carolyn noticed that neither Kathleen nor Nancy would look her in the eye. Her girls were hiding something and she was determined to figure out what it was and why they were hiding it from her. The remaining three occupants settled into an uneasy silence.

Once Lily finished making enough tea for everyone she returned to the living room with the tray. Leaving four cups and saucers and continuing up stairs with 2 for the other women.

Lily was more than half way to the master suite with the tea when Mary-Elizabeth spotted her. Unsure of what to do with Addison's' mother, she waited silently to be acknowledged. She didn't have to wait long

"I should have been called. I worry when I can't reach either of my children. I know I'm not as close to them, as you and your siblings are close to your mother but I do care."

"It wasn't my place to call you. I'm sure Addison had her reasons for not letting you know but you have to ask her to find out"

Mary-Elizabeth thought for a moment and then nodded; in silent agreement with Lily.

"I brought some tea for you and Addison" she said lifting the platter in her hands to Mary-Elizabeth eye line.

"Maybe you can talk to her over a cup?"

"I don't think now is the moment for that, if you don't mind I'll take my tea down stairs. She doesn't want me around her at the moment. I _Might_ have said some things that were best if I kept to myself"

Having finished speaking; she took a serving of tea from the platter in Lily's hand and went down stairs.

Lily sighed and then continued to Addison's room with the remaining cup of tea. She found Addison sitting in the center of her bed all huddled up in the comforter. Lily set the platter down on the bed

"Are they gone?" Addison asked after Lily sat on the bed next to her.

Lily gave Addison a look that clearly asked if _she was kidding._

"No, they're downstairs probably drinking tea and interrogating my sisters."

Lily scooted up on the bed so that she was next to Addison; and then laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Addison your mother was really upset."

"Nothing new." Addison responded despairingly.

Lily sighed deeply then lifted herself from the bed. Knowing that this was one battle she wouldn't win. Addison had scooted down and laid her head on Derek's pillow turning away from Lily.

"We'll be downstairs if you need anything; I have to help my sisters' deal with the mothers."

Addison just nodded into the pillow as a response.

After speaking Lily picked up the tray and placed it on the foot rest. Then she went downstairs to face the family.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~~*~**~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Mary Elizabeth took the tea and went to sit next to Carolyn. Sensing that she had interrupted something she decided to forgo the tea, placing it on the coffee table untouched.

"Have the told you anything I need to know?" She asked Carolyn quietly.

"No. I think they are waiting for Lily"

Mary Elizabeth nodded.

"Do you get the feeling that there is something else going here?"

"Yes I got the same feeling. Let's hear them out and will discuss this later.

~**~~*~**~~*~**~~*~**~*~*~~**~*~*~~*~**~*~*~~*~**~*~*~

When Lily descended it was to a room of tense silence. She knew the question they had by their glance: If Addison was okay?

"She wants to be alone"

She answered the unspoken question. They continued to stare at her.

"She's not fine by any meaning of the term, she needs time and she didn't have near enough time to prepare herself for any of this."

Lily was mainly speaking to her mom and Addison's.

"I know you want to be here but I think it would be better of both of you left."

Before either mother could speak Kathleen spoke up.

"Before you give any objections I agree with Lily."

Mrs. Shepherd and Mrs. Forbes-Montgomery were both silent and thoughtful.

Kathleen continued. "It was hard enough on Addison to have a miscarriage and let us know. We knew she was pregnant and had shared the joy of the news. But with both of you; you've had to learn she was pregnant and lost the baby all in one go.

The women nodded in understanding. Kathleen stood up and started pacing a plan forming in her head. She could tell that Lily was close to breaking; she was visibly shaking and pale; and she didn't want to explain why Lily was losing control when it was Addison that had 'miscarried'.

"She didn't want to come back home but we convinced her to do so. Only to walk into both of you and a situation we hoped to avoid."

Knowing she had to get the mothers away from Addison and Lily she decided that the only way to get what she needed was to make them believe that their presence was not helping the situation.

"I'm afraid she might retreat into herself if she is pushed too much right now. I know you want to help but your doing more harm by being here. I think it'll be much better if you go home and I'll make sure Addison talks to both of you in a few days."

Sensing their hesitation Kathleen sent a pleading look to Nancy. Nancy was always the one who got them out of trouble when they were close to getting caught; of course she was also the one who started the trouble but that was beside the point.

Nancy stood up and went to stand next to Kathleen with the two is better than one mentality. Together the sisters stood one with a look of resignation and the other with irritation. Kathleen was just about to throw the towel in; she was never good at manipulating her mother

"Look she doesn't want you here, we're" motioning to Kathleen, Lily, and herself "just trying to prevent a big blow up." She practically screamed

"A miscarriage is both a physical and emotional blow."

She softened her voice

"You can either leave now and get a phone call in a few days or wait around for Addison to get fed up and throw you out and not hear from her for weeks or months depending on how big of a blow up she has. And I know with you here it will be big.

She's barely hanging on. So what will it be? She's exhausted both physically and mentally. Do you want to be an extra burden on an already taxed person?"


	9. Aftermath of mothers

Chapter nine the shepherd baby

Aftermath of Mothers

"I can't believe it worked" Kathleen said after her mother and Addison's mother left the brownstone.

"I don't know? They left without a fight." , Said Nancy peeking out the front window then glancing over her shoulder to her sisters. Frowning at what she saw. Both inside and out.

"That's not normal for mom, I really don't know Mrs. Montgomery but mom gave in way too fast". She sighed remembering the woman's assent to leave Addison in their care.

~*flashback to earlier*~

Lily had begun to shake visibly, both Kathleen and Nancy were concerned; it had been a little over a week since her miscarriage and her hormones were still out of sync.

Lily was wishing that she was anywhere else than in the brownstone at this moment and how it would have been better to stay upstairs with Addison instead of the current environment.

Kathleen was wondering how she got mixed up in this plot in the first place and if she should just spill to the mothers and suffer Addison's and Nancy's wrath.

But Kathleen couldn't spill after Nancy's impassioned speech about Addison to the mother's; they had no choice but to leave but not without some calculating glances at each of the shepherd girls.

*~ In the living room after dealing with the unexpected visit the mothers.~*

"I don't think we can do this! better to fess up now than risk anybody else getting mixed up in this." Lily said once she calmed down a little.

Which shocked both Kathleen and Nancy; but in very different ways.

"About time somebody came to their right mind!" exclaimed Kathleen collapsing heavily to the sofa in relief.

Nancy on the other hand began pacing back and forth in disbelief.

"Wait we change the paper work, we tell our mother Addison has miscarried, and arrange for a nurse; and NOW you want to tell the truth. It is already in record that Addison miscarried and that I verified it I can't change it now." She said in irritation

"You knew that once we started it, there was no way to stop it without blowing this whole thing wide open." Ranted Nancy to Lily

"I would seem incompetent if Addison were to remain pregnant after she _supposedly_ miscarried, not to mention I would lose patients. What about James and Derek? On one hand James, whom can't wait until he's a dad; counting down until the baby is born. On the other hand is Derek, who is running as fast and as far as he can from becoming a father." Nancy finally ended.

Kathleen scowled at Nancy and looked beseechingly to Lily who had only calmed down after her and Addison's mother left; as Lily began to tremble again.

She had not once thought of the consequences of their actions, just of holding a baby at the end of it all and being able to take that baby home. She hadn't thought of the legalities behind what her sisters and she were doing.

Now she did. Facing her mother was just a small thing compared to everything they would face if it went wrong or they backed out after starting.

Lily could see Kathleen's point, but backing out wasn't an option anymore. She sat up straight and looked at Nancy and once their eyes met she gave a slight nod, confirming the plan was still a go: as if the last few minutes were a break from the sane when in reality the whole plan they were implementing was by definition insane and the last few minutes were rational thought.

Kathleen was watching the emotions play on Lily's face from scared to alarmed and finally resolute.

Kathleen was distraught, for a moment; a brief moment; she thought her sisters had common sense

Lily sensing Kathleen's ire at her flip-flop decided cut to chase with her and speak before she could attempt to change her mind.

"Look Kat I know you're disappointed but Nancy has already laid the blueprints to our plan; it's her career and name that are on the line now. Her medical license is in jeopardy already. We might as well finish what we've started" taking a deep breath she continued.

"We pray that Addison has the most normal pregnancy as possible under the circumstances. That we've planned for any and all problems. That Derek remains clueless and we stay strong. In less than 8 months this will all be weird dream that only the unstable can dream up."

"Besides'" lily added teasingly "it's not as if mom would believe you anyway. She'd think your pulling her leg I could just hear her now.

"Kathleen, are you out of your mind,'

'Nancy has put you up to this to rile me up right."

"I thought better of you Kathleen" said Lily in a voice trying to mimic her mother.

Lily began to giggle when she thought of the day she had and all the crazy things going through her head.

It wasn't long before the giggles turned to laughter and the laughter turned to tears.

Damn hormones she thought to herself resentfully; as she was once again embraced by her sisters.

~*~*~ *~ *~*~*the Langham hotel 1 ~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*

Derek had been to medical conferences before but this medical conference was grueling. Maybe it was the fact that he was there alone, that Addison wasn't there by his side pushing him to succeed; to be his best. There was a lot of new information to take in not to mention that he had to talk as well, Derek was lucky to be asked to speak. It was a privilege usually reserved for more experienced doctors. Reviewing his notes for the case he was presenting to take his mind off the situation he left back home.

The hotel room he currently occupied was nice and the room service superb; of course that was because Addison had booked it for him and everybody knows Addison's taste.

But it gave him no pleasure he'd rather have his bed at home where his wife was waiting.

Now it hurt to think about her. Addison was everything to him, at least she used to be. Derek had to concentrate on work if he wanted to be a world-class neurosurgeon, the go-to-man. So when somebody wanted the best neurosurgeon any where the name on their lips would be DR. Derek Shepherd

Derek didn't know what to do with himself he couldn't believe how he treated his wife or how he reacted to her news. They wanted kids they had talked about it: a big family but at the moment his career was very important to him; and he thought he and Addison were on the same page to excel at their chosen specialty they were doctors; there would be time for children later. He would find a way to make it up to Addison; things would get better after he achieved his goals. Or so he hoped.

Next chapter

_"I think we should talk more in depth about this situation; in a more relaxed setting." Mary-Elizabeth said_

_"I don't see why not."_

an: sorry for the long wait between updates i ll try to put up chapter ten sometime next week. I've had this all written out somewhere but i'm constantly losing stuff. oh and I've decided to add Amelia since we now know her name and some of her story nothing big maybe just a name dropped in there somewhere. thanks again for reading.

1 Langham hotel historical hotel in boston MA 250 Franklin Street Boston, I own nothing


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